One of the hardest things about pregnancy, for me, is worrying that I may miscarry. When I see those two pink lines, I’m elated! but then the fear starts to take over and getting to that “safe” point seems like an eternity.
I worry about having a miscarriage because I’ve had four of them. I actually miscarried my very first pregnancy, which was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. If you have been in my shoes, my heart breaks for you. It is truly devastating.
If you’ve read any of my posts, you may have figured out that I kind-of enjoy having babies. It’s only, like, my favorite thing to do. So, becoming pregnant for the first time ever was absolutely the most exciting thing ever.
I remember that day…it was surreal. I could not WAIT to wear maternity clothes. I could not wait to feel the baby kick. I could not WAIT to tell people that Rooster and I were expecting, so I didn’t. I believe the secret–that was never going to be a secret–was out just days after I had a positive pregnancy test. I wanted to the whole world to know.
One of the scariest things that often occurs in early pregnancy is spotting. Any amount of blood, any color of blood or discharge draws concern to a new mother. Worrying about losing the baby takes over and the worst thing about it all is the fact that once it starts, you really just have to wait and see. Knowing that you have no control makes you feel helpless and desperate. Praying for everything to be okay is really all you can do, but sometimes what was hoped for..what you had fallen so in love with, suddenly ends.
The reason for miscarriage is often unknown. Sometimes it happens because something went wrong very early on. Sometimes it happens because the baby never even really began to grow. Sometimes it is due to complications with the mother. And then sometimes it occurs because of low hormone levels, many times low progesterone levels.
In all seriousness, this post should have been the first one that I published. There are so many women who have no idea of what low progesterone levels are or what those three words even mean. I certainly didn’t know until I did extensive research on my own, trying to find answers to some major problems that I was having.