I figured that since Halloween is knocking on our back door, now is an appropriate time to share this story with you. It was the most scalarious (scary+hilarious) moment of my entire life.
August 17, 2013
It was just after 10pm. Our children were all tucked in their beds…it was finally quiet for the first time all day.
Rooster & I were just about to get into bed ourselves. I had just been downstairs minutes before, fixing us a yummy cup of yogurt with fruit on top (a phase we were going through at the moment). At the time, I was 29 weeks pregnant with Maddie Wallace, our 5th child.
After coming back upstairs with the goods, I handed Mike his dessert, walked to my side of the bed and climbed aboard, sitting up nice and tall–ready to indulge into the yumminess.
Just so you have a visual, this is our bed. I sleep on the left.
Mike was standing at his side of the bed, with his right leg in mid air, just inches away from getting into his sweet spot, when all of the sudden, something FLEW into our bedroom at a massive speed.
It was coming straight for me. I gasped in complete horror and threw my yogurt, which flew all over the place. I immediately ducked my head and jumped off my bed faster than that thing had flown in–29 weeks pregnant and ALL. I had to run all the way around our big bed, just wishing it had been a twin, as that thing literally was flying all around me.
As I was running for my life, Rooster yelled out, “It’s a BAT” and I just knew I was gonna get rabies.
So imagine you’re the bat. You’re blind. But you’re excited because just down this hallway is your next victim.
I ran into our master bath (the opened door in the first picture) and Rooster was right behind me, but I literally slammed the door in his face. Because he didn’t have any weapons of mass destruction on hand at that moment.
He was banging & yelling on the door for me to let him in. I hesitated at first, but remembered…RABIES…
I know my heart was beating like 150 bpm, easy, and then I started to panic because, did I close the kids’ doors?????? OMG. Rooster didn’t know & I couldn’t remember. Wait, YES. Yes, I did. Thank you sweet baby Jesus.
But HOW did that thing get in!!?? And what were we–NO. What was Rooster gonna to do to get that thing OUT?? (Cause I was not about to leave that bathroom and get rabies.)
The Rooster said, “I just need one of those butterfly nets that the kids were playing with the other day…”
Oh, yes. Great. Catch the bat with a butterfly net, bud. But, it was better than any idea I had, so I told him where they were. Unfortunately, they weren’t in the bathroom, so he had to run all the way through the Bat Cave to get to them.
So, like a super hero, he put on his cape and s-l-o-w-l-y cracked the bathroom door, as I peed all over myself . The bat was no where in sight, so he ran down the hall and jumped from the top stair to the first floor. He was something serious, y’all.
I was soaking wet, waiting motionless with my ear glued to the door….worried that the next time I saw him, he’d be foaming at the mouth.
Minutes felt like hours, but then I finally heard something going on out there. He obviously had found the net. I could hear Rooster jumping all over the room. He was grunting & making sounds of someone in terror all at the same time. I was beginning to think he had called in the SWAT team.
…but then there was nothing. No sounds. No jumping, no grunting. I just knew he was dead because that thing had transformed into Dracula and showed him who was BOSS.
But I was not about to open the door to make sure because then obviously he would take a fancy to my neck.
I was just going to have to wait until he came in to get me. Okay, okay…..not Dracula…Rooster. It’s just that it’s October, people.
I waited and waited & then I finally decided to peek out the door. I slowly cracked it open and then heard him talking…he was on the phone telling his dad about the bat he had saved me from.
He came to the Panic Room, where I had been hiding, and asked me to let him in. By this time, I was laughing hysterically, realizing the past 20 minutes, because, how does this happen!? I’ve been a city girl all my life. How does a bat of all things, fly into your house?? And I couldn’t wait to hear how he had caught it.
But then, he looked at me and said, “I can’t find it……” WHAT.
He said that when I heard all the jumping and grunting, it was flying non-stop right at him and he was having to jump to dodge it–over and over. He guessed that it started to get tired because it fell to the floor a few times, but when he would get close to it, it would fly right back at his face. Then it flew out of our bedroom and landed in the middle of the hallway.
And look at this. Rooster got out his phone and took a picture of it. ALIVE. Who does that? Takes a picture of a bat they’re trying to catch that probably has rabies?? If he was going to do it, he could have at least gotten a better image, right? Come, on, Rooster.
Just kidding, Rooster.
After the photo shoot, it flew back down the stairs and he couldn’t find it. All of the sudden, I was overcome with a warm, fuzzy, comforting feeling…sort of like nausea.
So, Rooster had to leave me, yet again, to go on his ghost hunt. After about 10 minutes, he was back to announce that he had caught the Beast.
I opened up the door right as he was telling me that he found it resting on the side of the fireplace. He used the butterfly net and guess what…had that thing ready for “Show and Tell”.
So, I changed into my big girl granny panties (cause you know, I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant & the ones I was wearing were WET.), and followed Rooster back downstairs. I could hear it fussing in between the two butterfly nets that were inside a closed box–it did not sound happy.
He took it outside and I took a peak. It looked small in the net, but not while it was flying around my head.
So, Rooster saved the scalarious night–my hero. He caught and freed the bat. No child woke up horrified and I did not go into premature labor. Job well done.
After much thought and many nightmares that came soon after, we figured out that the bat had made its entrance through the fireplace.
So, people–there is a lesson to be learned today. MAKE SURE that after you use up all the firewood during the winter, you close the flue or Halloween may come sooner than you expect.